Me: Son, Why are you taking your socks off?
W: I like to wiggle my toes and I can't see them through my socks.

W: I have Root Beer in my ear.
Me: Really? How on Earth did that happen?
W: It went in my mouth and turned left.

W: (to a kid at the playground) Hi. I'm awesome. Everyone thinks so.

W got his Easter basket full of plastic eggs with candy. I told him that he was not to eat the candy until after dinner. He informed me that he just wanted to look at the eggs. Ok fine.

A few minutes later, I walk into the room, and I see chocolate smeared across his face. I assumed he'd eaten a peice or two, so I took the basket away.

Later that evening, my husband and I were emptying the eggs for future use, and this is what we found:

He had taken a bite of every peice in the basket.

Yep. He's in there.

W: Mommy look!! That plane is pooping!

Upon inspection, I see that the plane, in fact, has Army men parachuting out of the back.

Busted!

We've had a problem with W getting out of bed at night at sitting on the top of the stairs to watch tv.

One particular night, my husband and I sat down to watch a documentary about Grizzly Bears. Don't ask me why, that's another blog for another time.

Anyway, the next morning at breakfast, W informs us that they make trash cans that bears can not get into.

Husband: "Oh really? How did you know that? Were you watching the tv last night?"
W: "Uh... no. I have super hearing. I could hear it from my bed."
Me: "Are you sure you want to stick with that story?"

Several hours later, he came clean that he'd been watching from the top of the stairs.

Me: "W, stop running in the house."
W: "I'm not running, I'm walking very swiftly."